The Journey, February 2010

For those of you I have not spoken to personally and are finding out about our journey via a blog, I do apologize...

On February 4th, 2010 I was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer.

When you are pregnant, one of the first tests that you receive on that amazingly special first Dr.’s visit is a pap smear. This is the test that initially detected some abnormalities and it just began to spiral down hill after that… My amazing Gynecologist was forced at this point to refer me to Moffitt Cancer Center here in Tampa. She has been with me every step of the way though. She calls me regularly and I am not sure what I would do without her!!!

My parents came down and joined Tim and I for the first appointment at Moffitt on February 5th. Our Dr. is great. He is young, understanding, sympathetic and willing to think outside the box. (He too has a three year old little one) He reviewed all our previous test results and then took some biopsy’s of his own and scheduled me for an MRI. (He wanted to schedule me for other tests too, but they can not be preformed during pregnancy…) After the most painful exam of my life, both physically and emotionally, we all went to a conference room to discuss what our future outlook was and what our options might be. At this meeting I was told that if these test results came back the same as my other results, there would be a less than 1% chance of saving my pregnancy...

A bit more history… about 6 months ago, I had a D&C to clean out some “stuff” that was causing extra bleeding and that would hopefully enable Tim and I to get pregnant a lot easier this time around. All the polyps etc. that were removed were sent off to pathology to check for signs of cancer etc. There was nothing… nothing even questionable at that time… 6 months ago!!! And now 6 months later I am confirmed with Cervical Cancer, a Cancer that is typically a slow growing cancer, but no, not mine… what I have is nothing like you can find out there on the internet… It is a very aggressive and fast growing cancer.

On February 10th, the test results from Moffitt Confirmed that my Cancer was a stage 1B2 andenocarcinoma. Now what?

On February 15th, we met with the great Moffitt Dr. again. We were basically informed on 4 ways we could move forward. Two began with termination of pregnancy. I am going to make a long story short here and tell you that of the two options to attempt to save the baby, both were extremely risky for me and the chances for a healthy happy baby were not much better… In a 4+ hour meeting with the Dr's we had to make the choice that would allow me to remain healthy enough to fight this cancer and not risk my own life. It was very hard for me to put my safety in front of my child's and it took the doctor's and my husband to constantly remind me of how much he and Addison need me. But how do you choose to terminate a life... HOW I ASK YOU!!! Our Dr. had reviewed our case with a board of cancer Dr's and every one of them recommended that we fight this very aggressive cancer ASAP and not put it off for any reason. (Ya, easy for them to say, right?) After many tears, we had to make a decision to terminate the pregnancy and work on getting me healthy again so that I could be around to see Addison date, graduate from high school, get married and all those other great milestones I look forward to in the many years to come.

We elected to do a radical hysterectomy, pelvic lymphadenectomy and periaortic lymphadenectomy , along with removal of tumor and any other affected organs. By choosing this route, I am left with a 50/50 chance of needing radiation and chemo. (Keep your fingers crossed for me we should find this out on Friday, March 5th.) Now to schedule a surgery, Moffitt is booked, my Dr. is booked… but alas, we moved the surgery to University Hospital and my Dr. was able to clear his scheduled for February 24th. So, a little over a week between having made the decision and the actual surgery… This was very difficult. Every morning I was reminded that I was waking up pregnant, caring for a perfectly happy and healthy 14 week old fetus, and knowing what the surgery would bring… I would wake up and not know how I was going to make it through the day… I kept myself very busy and threw myself into my work to make the time pass. By the evenings I was usually numb and ready to crash, just to start the process all over again the next day…

So now, as I am typing this blog, I am at home, post hysterectomy, on pain medication, and very limited on what I can do physically. I have my ups and downs… we all do… Tim and I are trying to work through this together with a ton of help from my mom who is staying with us to help care for Addison before and after school and to care for me during the hours Tim is at work. Tim has been very strong through all this and has been by my side every minute of the journey, literally. He stayed overnight in the hospital with me in what looked like the most uncomfortable rubber chair ever maid and even brought me a happy meal one afternoon! For now, I am off on short term disability for another 4-6 weeks and maybe longer if I fall in the 50 % who need radiation and chemo… I am not too stir crazy yet, but that time will come. We will wait and see what our Friday Dr. appointment brings. But for now I am settled… numb… surrounded by flowers and good food. (Thanks to many friends and family!)

I hope this post will catch everyone up on the main details… There is much more to the story but this gets the hard information out there. I don’t mind talking about it now, so feel free to call… I just did not feel like talking about it along the way…